Can we fall away from the Lord?

I don't understand fully the complicated workings of the Holy Spirit in the soul of each individual. Yet the spiritual warnings seem strong. Whether or not we can finally fall from Grace can be debated, but there is no doubt that love can grow cold, and believers can find themselves far from communion with their savior. This seems to be the epidemic of our age in North America. We are in danger of being those who are lukewarm.

I read a great post today. I'm not trying to plagerize, but for the sake of ease, I'll repost it here, since I think it is a timely message for our culture. This tied in perfectly with our Sunday School lesson today from Jude.

Please check out the original post: http://pastordavidholt.blogspot.com/2009/02/dont-let-your-love-grow-cold.html

I really enjoy drinking coffee in the morning. There is something soothing about sipping on a hot cup of coffee as I spend time with the Lord. I must confess that I have a pet peeve when it comes to my coffee – I like it hot and I like it to stay hot. However, this seldom occurs. I am amazed how quickly my cup of coffee can get cold. Often I have to put it back into the microwave to reheat it … several times throughout the morning.

Unfortunately, our hearts can be like a cup of coffee – quickly digressing from hot to lukewarm to cold.

The ease of which our hearts can grow cold concerns me, especially when I read Mathew 24. Of all the signs of the end times, the one that challenges me the most is when Jesus said, “Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved” (Mt. 24:12-13).

I am bothered that Jesus said “the love of most will grow cold.” This means a higher percentage of people will experience a decline in their spiritual temperature than will experience an increase in their spiritual temperature. Ouch. I don’t know about you, but I sure do not want to be one that Jesus finds with a cold heart when He returns.

On top of this, remember what the book of Revelation says will happen to those who are neither hot nor cold: He will spew them out of His mouth (Rev. 3:16)!

What kind of love is Jesus speaking of here? Since He said the most important commandments are to love the Lord with all our heart and to love our neighbor as ourselves, it is safe to assume He is addressing our love for God and others.

So, if “the love of most will grow cold”, what are some contributing factors to this eternally tragic spiritual condition? I can think of at least six. You may come up with more. Here are my six:

1. Neglecting certain vital spiritual disciplines, such as time with God, meditating on the Word, prayer, fellowship with others, service, etc. If the liquid in a cup is not externally stimulated in some manner, it will get cold. Spiritual disciplines are one way of externally stimulating our heart.
2. Allowing a situational difficulty set our heart against the Lord. When we go through something challenging (i.e. health issue, divorce, loss of job, mistreatment by others, death of a loved one, etc.), we can either allow that difficulty to drive us to greater dependence on God or we can take up an offense toward God. The former will lead to growth, the latter will lead to stagnation.
3. Busyness in life. Here is the one most Americans are vulnerable to – getting so busy with life and demands that we simply neglect our relationship with God. Like any relationship, it takes effort for it to continue growing and deepening.
4. Materialism. Jesus said “the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful” (Mt. 4:19). The question to ask with possessions is, “Do I own it or does it own me?” Perhaps the current recession in America is God’s way of weaning us from the grip of materialism?
5. The sins of the flesh and desire for pleasure. We are a pleasure-crazy culture. So much of what people focus on is pleasure, whether sexual, physical, emotional or relational. We spend a great deal of time, effort and money or what gives us pleasure. This can lead to a very self oriented life which will cause one’s heart to grow cold toward the Lord. Josh McDowell once said that sexual sin is the number one cause of people digressing spiritually.
6. Insulating ourselves from the pain of others. Many of us purposefully isolate ourselves from the hurt and pain of others. We don’t want to know what is really going on in other’s lives so that we can keep a safe distance – not having to show real care. However, Jesus wants our heart of compassion to stay hot by seeing real needs and responding to those needs where we are able.

Since these are some of the reasons people’s love will grow cold, what can we do to prevent this from occurring? Like my cup of coffee, I need to repeatedly put my heart in the microwave of the Spirit. How do I do this? I have six suggestions:

1. Hang around others with a hot heart. Fellowship with godly people is so important in our walk with God. Just like a campfire stays burning when the logs are together, so do we burn brighter when we are around other committed Christians.
2. Spend quality time with God. This goes without saying, but I must still say it. No other practice is more important than spending quality time with God every day in the Word and prayer.
3. Read biblically-accurate and Spirit-anointed books and articles. One reason I get David Wilkerson’s monthly mailings is because of how he always stirs my heart.
4. Intentionally expose yourself to needs. One must have balance here. You can become overwhelmed with needs and burn-out trying to meet all needs. Jesus did not respond to every need, but He spent enough time with hurting people to keep a compassionate heart and respond as the Father directed Him. I just learned of a ministry in my area to the homeless, and I am planning to check it out.
5. Deal with sins as they occur. Do not let sins build up. Dr. Bill Bright used to call this “keeping short accounts with God.” In other words, confess and repent of any and all sins as they occur in your life. This keeps your heart honest and tender.
6. Get surgery if you need it. When someone has a heart attack, they need surgery. Some Christians have grown so cold in their relationship with God that they need spiritual surgery from a trusted friend, counselor, or pastor.

We must do whatever it takes to insure that our love does not grow cold. This is more important than our retirement account, job, golf score, weekend source of entertainment, getting the best deal on something at the store, or next vacation. Just as we have to be intentional about staying in good physical condition, so do we have to be intentional about maintaining a vibrant relationship with God.

One final thing I must add that applies to all of the above: We cannot make our heart hot for God. This is not a matter of striving in our own flesh to be hot for God. Instead, it is relying on the supernatural power of the Spirit to keep our heart hot for God (see my blog on the “Exchanged Life” for more on this). God must do a divine work in our heart through the power of the Holy Spirit.

So, with all that I have said, perhaps the most important thing you can do for your heart is to honestly admit the condition you are in – whatever that is – and sincerely ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with His presence. The Spirit “works in us both to will and to do for His good pleasure” (Phil. 2:1).

"The Church is looking for better methods; God is looking for better men. The Holy Ghost does not flow through methods, but through men. He does not come on machinery, but on men. He does not anoint plans, but men...men of prayer." - E.M.Bounds.

Let the fires go out in the broiler room of the church and the place will still look smart and clean, but it will be cold. The Prayer Room is the broiler room for its spiritual life." -Leonard Ravenhill

"I must secure more time for private devotions. I have been living far too public for me. The shortening of devotions starves the sould, it grows lean and faint." William Wilberforce

"What will suffer [if a man does note pray] is the life of the Son of God within him, which is nourished not by food but by prayer...prayer is the way the life of God is nourished." - Oswald Chambers

Proverbs 10:11 begins, “The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life…” Three verses later we read, “Wise men store up knowledge.”

I am struck by the idea of “storing up” something in my heart, so that my mouth would become a “fountain of life.”

I was thinking about the life of Joseph in the Bible. God allowed him to interpret Pharaoh’s dream, predicting 7 years of bumper crops, followed by 7 years of famine. God allowed Joseph to have a part in urging Pharaoh to store up, so that in an economical sense they could feed not only themselves, but also neighboring nations who would come when times would get tougher. It seems like Christians are meant to be healthy, and in that healthiness, provide fruit to refresh and nourish others.

What are the things we typically “store up?” Food? Firewood? Retirement? Why do we store up? Obviously, we do this so that when harder times come, we will have something saved up to carry us through. The reality is tha life has ups and downs, and there are times of want, and times of plenty. Is it possible to store up praise in our hearts, so that when times of trials come, we enter those times with our “cup full.”

What about Christians? It seems that even in a land of plenty, Christians are becoming more and more Biblically ignorant, trading true meals for 5 minute snacks. (Listen to Christian radio and see how much teaching you find) If we are not eating right in times of plenty, what will happen when even harder times come? I fear we may find ourselves foolishly weak when we need to be strong – unprepared, unhealthy, and at risk.

Three of the many things that come to mind, that we can be storing up, are:
1. Praise – It seems praising and setting our affection on our Maker somehow restores our soul and gives us a sense of healthy joy. When trials come, we have learned to live a life of joy and trust, rooted in who God is
2. Knowledge: again, the key to fighting spiritual battles, and temptation, and doubts, and fears, and lies, and spiritual attacks, is to know in the depths of our soul the truths of who our unchanging God is (which leads us back to praise!)
3. love - I'm not sure exactly how this one grows. Anybody out there have any comments? Its probably the most important.

IF we possess these, even storing them up, then we may even feed others in the midst of incredibly trying times. If not, how will we have anything to say? One of my greatest fears is that I wouldn't have anything to say. Jesus said, “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” Lord Jesus, please create a fountain of your Life in the depths of my heart.

Here's a video I found along these lines. It should play after a 15 second commercial.

What the Bible says about $$$

Taken from one of our youth group talks:
What The Bible Has To Say About Money
1. God Owns Everything –
1 Chronicles 29:11 (New International Version)
11 Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power
and the glory and the majesty and the splendor,
for everything in heaven and earth is yours.
Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom;
you are exalted as head over all.
2. You Are A Steward -
1 Corinthians 4:2 (New International Version)
Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.
3. Work Hard
Colossians 3:23 (New International Version)
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,
4. The Bible Tells Us To Be Honest, Even In Little Things
Colossians 3:9
Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices.
Ten Commandments – Exodus 20:15-16 – You shall not lie, You shall not steal.
5. The Bible Tells Us To Spend Wisely and Be Content
Philippians 4:13
For I have learned to get along happily whether I have much or little.
6. Jesus Says Giving Is A Way To Worship Him
Acts 20:35
It is more blessed to give than to receive.
7. It’s Wise To Save Some Of Our Money
Proverbs 21:20
The wise man saves for the future; the foolish man spends whatever he gets.
8. Too Much Money Can Make Us Forget God
Matthew 6:24
"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money
9. You Can’t Take Money With You
Luke 12:13-21 – Parable of the Rich Fool

From Psalm 19
1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they reveal knowledge.
3 They have no speech, they use no words;
no sound is heard from them.
4 Yet their voice[b] goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.

14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Can we change the future?

I am intrigued by a phenomena I can’t get my mind around:
My brother in law and his wife recently had their first child. You have to understand the great lengths that they went through for this to happen. After months (maybe years) of trying very hard, they almost gave up. But they decided to try a very expensive procedure of invetro fertilization. 15 or 30 thousand dollars later, they now hold Abigail in their arms.
Was Abigail planned by God since the beginning of time? Did he know her by name? What if Nate and Becca didn’t do invetro fertilization? Did their effort make a difference on who will literally be around for all of eternity? It seems so.
God is sovereign, certainly, over who will be born. But he has somehow given us the mind-boggling ability to procreate, or not procreate! Certainly, he gives us desires that should lead to multiplication. But it is possible to use contraceptives to the degree that no children are born, even though this is contrary to what he has willed in us.
If this is true in the natural sense, isn’t it also possible in the spiritual sense? He works in us to will to produce spiritual fruit, leading to spiritual multiplication. This is the natural tendency. But somehow, mysteriously, he also seems to have ceded over to us the choice to be involved in the Work, or to live selfish lives. Will we, or can we, spiritually procreate? Will others be in heaven, or not be in heaven, due to us? God forbid that he would give us that substantial of an impact. Unfortunately, though, it appears that he has. What are the implications for my neighbors? I am just wondering….

Yoked to Jesus

January 26th, 2010
His yoke is easy and his burden is light. I was amazed tonight how easy it is to bear the Lord’s burden, because He is doing the lifting, if we are walking in the same direction as Him! Tonight I was working in the harvest field, arriving at youth group feeling completely “on empty.” I was tempted to think for a second, “Boy, it would be nice to quit for a year – take a break, and get renewed.” But then God’s spirit led the whole time, and his spirit spoke the Danilo Montero song to my heart afterwards, while I was giving Lydia a bedtime bath, “Mi yugo es facil y ligera es mi carga. Ven a mi y te hare descansar.” Las mismas palabras de Jesus. Potentes. Absolutamente verdaderas. El cumplira su promesa.

Great Thought from Francis Chan's blog

“I dare you to pray this prayer.” So challenges Francis Chan in a video in which he dares us to pray, “Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.” Proverbs 30:8. Do we really want God to answer this prayer for us? Then he would have to be our sustenance. What are the other prayers in the Bible that we might be afraid to prayer? These reluctancies might reveal in us an inconsistency, an area that God needs to change something. Or perhaps its not that he needs to make the move. Maybe we need to, and he will respond to help us.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2oi6y292kE

day 1

entry #1–On “Training”

video link of the day: http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=DW76GNNX

Rationale:
Why create a blog? I guess it is part of a sense that the Lord wants me to be contributing to the Work of his Kingdom. Maybe this blog is also motivated out of a sense that I will grow as well. I could use a little more effort, training, and discipline. I am reminded that an athlete must run even when it is not race day. He must get up early in the morning, sometimes in the cold or the dark, because he wants to be prepared when the day of his race comes. But perhaps more importantly, he knows that it is not even about one race. He trains because he wants fitness to be a part of who he is. He may win the race only if he becomes a fast runner who is well developed. A fat, lazy man cannot suddenly become a winner on race day. In the same way, spiritually speaking the analogy is similar. Preparing for a future event such as a sermon or an opportunity to witness is not the point. The point is to become more mature as Christ develops in me. Otherwise, the day will come when I have to say something to someone, and I will have nothing to say. Not because God doesn’t want to use me, or because its not my gifting, but because I have become fat and lazy. “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” Too many times I have had nothing to say. I am hoping to work on this area in my life. I want to experience Christ’s presence as I seek him through this journal. Is that presumptuous? I know that if I seek, He will be found by me. Not because I have a handle to control God’s workings, but because he is willing found by those who seek Him with all their heart and strength. This is part of my obedience to love God with all my strength.
Our lives impact the lives of those around us. As we are ready, others will benefit. This is my attempt to prepare myself for action and battle, for encouragement and edification, for discernment. I am attempting to learn to wield the sword in faith, tenacity, boldness, and tender love.
2 Tim 4:2-3 Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season ; correct, rebuke and encourage — with great patience and careful instruction.
What would it look like if all followers of Christ believed they were pastors? If they came to church prepared to give a sermon. Instead of saying, “This church should reach out more to visitors,” to in fact be the hand that does so. If any man comes to Christ for salvation, God also begins to restore His purpose for that person. As little “Christs,” he will do and work in us the same DNA that was in Christ. We were made to be administrators, workers, builders of the kingdom. Not everyone has the same gift, yet all believers in Christ are priests! (See I Peter 2:9) There should be no passive Christians. I think part of the spiritual passivity in our culture today is not because the pastors are not working hard enough. Its because we the congregation are in sleeping mode, leaving the work for the professional to do, assuming that we are off the hook. We show up to church lazy, unprepared to lead. We are prepared to sit back in the pew and receive. Somehow, though, faith pushes towards an active pursuit. Passivity threatens to woo us into slumber.
The truth is that we do not know how many people have needed us when we slacked off and didn’t produce fruit.

Spain or bust!

This is the jungle theme song!

VBS

We had a great time this year at VBS! Here are a few clips...

More video to come!

The End In Sight!

Somehow I had come to believe that I would be in school forever. It gets to be a way of life and you find a way to fit in time to study and learn. I know now that I will be in school forever and by that I mean that the career I have chosen is one that I will be able to find something new to learn every single day. For now, I am finished. I have completed all my classes and will look forward to graduation on the 14th of June, 2008. I will take the NCLEX near the middle of July and am happy to say that I did well on my predictor exam that I took for Med Central. The orientation for my new job at Marion General Hospital will start the first week of August. I will be working nights on a post-surgical/pediatric unit from 7pm to 7am. Although these aren't my favorite hours, I am grateful to the Lord to have a job and glad to have the relative tranquility of nights to begin with. I wish I could somehow capture the miracle that I have lived in these past four years. When I began nursing school, I entered with a conviction that the Lord had called me to this. It is only by this calling that I have stayed and endured and gladly finished. He has given me everything I have needed. From quiet moments of focus to revelations of His creation. He has provided every penny that I needed and given me grace when I messed up a schedule or assignment. With a grateful heart and knowledge that without Him I am nothing and would have nothing, I AM DONE WITH NURSING SCHOOL!!!!!! YEA!

Garage Sale!

Garage Sales are fun, but they're even more fun when they're going for a good cause. This year our garage sale profits went to help the kids from kid's club go to camp. The youth helped out with this fundraiser and lots of people donated their stuff to the sale. We had a great time and a lot of people stopped by to support the sale. All-in-all we raised around $700 for the camp fund!

Family Weekend in PA

Rachel brought her new boyfriend, Daniel to the family get-together!

What an incredible weekend! My brother, Andy Sommers is getting married September 27th. His fiancee is a wonderful girl from PA. Her family invited our family to stay at a cabin in the mountains on their farm. It was a really fun time just being in nature and with everyone together. Wendy Mast and her parents are wonderful people and the weekend was full of stories and memories. Some incredible events happened this week such as my cousin Jeff Sommers getting engaged to Marsha Hershberger and the unforgettable almost barn-burning. God's grace was evident to us as He spared Wendy's family from near tragedy. Another memorable time was the surprise wedding shower that her mom threw for her. Her mom says that she has never been able to surprise Wendy at anything and was happy for the chance to give her a little surprise. The fun part was the we got to be in on the scheme and had a grand time conniving ways to get her to the party. We played Settler's of Catan and got to see some old friends from the area. What a cool trip! The cabin was beautiful and being with family too

Planning for Spain and Italy...

The start of a great adventure! The day we decided to include Italy on the end of our trip to Spain, Matt ran around the house (Amore chasing after him) yelling "Italia! Italia!" with his hands in the air. We are definately exited about Italy and Spain. We will be traveling to Spain to work with the Eichelman's at English Camp for a week and among those who are going are Dion and Naty Peachey! After Spain, we'll be meeting up with Mom and Dad Roggio to travel around Italy. We are expecting the unexpected, let me tell you! Matt has been practicing his Italian in the car and in the evenings. We feel we know just enough to make some really big and hopefully funny-in-the-end blunders. We have debated about this trip for over 9 months, in the end we feel it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Photos of Us - May 2008

We are SO in love. Matt and I have long anticipated the arrival of spring. In part because we both love the sunshine and in part because our house stays so cold in the winter. Today we had a beautiful chance to enjoy spring and just being together. We are looking forward to spending the summer together this year.

Amore around the house. She loves the computer and sitting in the lazy boy. What a silly cat!

Hispanic Retreat - May 2008

We had a really great time with our Hispanic friends at the Hispanic Retreat. It is a weekend long event with all of the Hispanic Mennonite Churches in Ohio. Matt and I helped out with the music and just enjoyed seeing friends that we had not seen for several weeks. After 4 years of serving at ICH in Hilliard, Ohio, we have officially stepped down from the leadership position there. Although it's been a rough transition, we feel that God has been calling us to allow others the blessing of serving in that and that He has been calling us to slow down a little and strive for excellence where we are. Being with the Hispanics this weekend opened my eyes to the realities that many of them face each day. There was a lot of talk about trials and fear as many of them face deportation or separation from their families. I cannot imagine living my life along and afraid to open the door. I don't know what the solution is, but I do know that I saw a piece from "their shoes" and it broke my heart.

Recently we have had a request to join a church-planting team in Mansfield, only a few miles from our house, among the Hispanics. We are seeking out the Lord's will and praying for His direction.

More of Matt's Musings

Saturday, April 11
At the Creation museum near Cincinnati, we ended with a video on “The Last Adam.” I was struck with what seems to be an obvious fact, but which perhaps had lurked rather cloudy in the back of my mind. We saw a video of Old Testament priests sacrificing a lamb to pay for sins. The real Lamb, though, was shown to be Christ.
Did the priests who offered lambs somehow have their sins forgiven because of their obedience to what God had commanded them, through faithful obedience to as much as God had chosen to reveal to them? Almost, correct, but not quite.
Did the blood of the lambs they sacrificed do ANYTHING at all to cleanse them from their sin? No, they did not. I am most confident that no blood from any animal could ever forgive sins. So why did they sacrifice? It was a picture of Jesus, a reminder, and nothing more. It was the blood of Jesus that paid for old testament people, too. And no, their obedience did not pay for their sins. Grace saves today, and then, through faith. Their obedience was the evidence of faith, as they walked in God’s offer, his deal, his covenant, his grace.

Sunday, April 12
Today the speaker spoke of “Jesus with skin.” What is the incarnation? Is it that God could put on flesh and walk the earth 2,000 years ago, or that he is incarnate today through the church? It is both. Do you find this as miraculous as I? They both are the incarnation – and they both are God’s answer to reach a lost and dying world – both are God at work in the everyday, in the physical realms of imperfect humanity. Jesus’ flesh was not deity, but it was controlled by the spirit of the Man, to do what he willed to perform with his physical body. Even so today, his church Is not the deity, but acts out what He wills. This is why Jesus will forever be the incarnation – God doing his will through His Body!

Creation Science Museum

An imposter Matt Roggio is spotted near Cincinnati, Ohio.

Q: What does 8 Jr.High/High School age kids and three fun-loving youth leaders in a big green van with tinted windows make?

A: A fun-filled day-trip to the Creation Science Museum. What a great trip!


We had so much fun exploring the Biblical reasons why creation makes so much sense. It was great to see how the message of the Bible and the centrality of Christ was a main theme throughout the whole museum. We were expecting a defensive perspective of science, what we got was a great explanation of how God and His Word and EVERYTHING it says makes sense. It was really fun for our kids to see a panoramic picture of the bible.


Even thought the outdoor picnic lunch was "a little cold!!!!", we had a great time in the Special Effects theatre (we got rained on during the flood scene!) and throughout the different parts of the museum.

Chef Mateo

For the first time in two years (he confesses), Matt determines to cook dinner. So, with me sitting nearby, procedes to make a delicious dinner. I must say, I was impressed and it seemed like he had fun. Maybe we should do this more often???

A Snow Storm To Remember...

We'll call it the blizzard of '08, for all practical purposes. Friday, March 7 and Saturday March 8th were blustery days full of snow. It was all light and puffy, but in all I think we got about 14 inches. After getting home late on Friday to a worried husband, it was really nice to be in a warm house and let the world swirl outside. Around 11:30pm Friday night we got cabin fever and went out to run around the house and make snow angels. It was truely a winter wonderland! Saturday was more of the same and we actually spent the day working at cleaning our house, and got almost the whole thing done! What fun to work together on much needed projects. Sunday we had a good time worshipping and going over the Sunday school lesson together. We missed being in church though and realized how much we love meeting with our church on Sundays.

Winter Retreat

The Winter Retreat (Feb.21-23) with the youth group was a great time! We went to Marietta, Ohio to the two-house property of a friend of the church. It is almost on the West Virginia border and rarely snows there. However, for our wintery weekend, it had just snowed 2-3 inches. It was fun riding fourwheelers and sledding down the mountain. We spent the weekend on a study of Colossians 3-4. It was the end of a study of the book of Colossians. The title of the weekend was "Set Apart For Life" and the emphasis was about what the Lord has done and given for us to follow Him for a lifetime. We talked about being different from a culture that readily gives up on most everything and anything.

Session 1 - Set Your Hearts - Our first call is to salvation and to the passionate love of God

Session 2 - Set Your Minds - The love of God with our minds is a great gift and key to knowing Him and growing in Him.

Session 3 - Set It Down - Weeds that would choke out our faith. We talked about letting God take out the deepest rooted habits and frequently shallow sins in our hearts daily.

Session 4 - Set It Up - Establishing character and strength, building blocks for ways to live like Jesus

Session 5 - Set For Life - 4 places God has set up for us to live out holiness - Family/At home, Work, Church, Evanglism.

We were really blessed by some of the things that they shared and also by the way the Lord pulled everything together. Matthew and I had never given talked for a whole weekend, much less spent so long on one verse/chapter, but God opened His word to us and it really was a growing time and something that He did!

It was good to have a good mix of people there and we are asking God what all He has for us in the next few years. We love these guys and pray that God will continue to open their hearts and minds for ever deeper love and service to Him.

una cancion - pa que goces

The Reasons We're Alive

So where to from here? Isn't that a question we ask all our lives?

Our hearts have been drawn to the ministry that God has placed on our hearts: working with the youth. These past few weeks God has given us new ideas and a renewed passion for these great guys and gals.

One of the recent fun events that we had was a spa night and pajama party for the Jr.High girls entititled "The Truth About Beauty". In between facials, a back massager, manicures, pedicures, Brio magazine and cheese quesadillas, we talked about life and love and what it really means to be beautiful. It was great to see everyone participate and have fun. The best part was what God spoke to each of us about how He has given us potential for true beauty. What a fun night!

Marriage Retreat and Grieving Baby

Matt and I went this weekend to the Hispanic Marriage Retreat. The speaker was Rey F. Matos who has written several books on marriage and family. His talks were interesting and to the point. We had several long sessions, so our only regret of the weekend was that we didn't get much time to talk alone. We did have a good time talking with our Hispanic friends and they were all so kind to us. Many expressed care and empathy at the loss of our baby. Some even shared their stories, which was a blessing to see how God carried them through. We have learned to communicate to each other better over this time and have held each other with the arms of Jesus it seems. We sang Steven Curtis Chapman's song "I will be here" in Spanish to each other, that was special.

It was uplifting to meet with the Roggio family for lunch on Sunday after the retreat. What a blessing our families have been through this whole time!

I honestly don't know what I would have done that first week without my mom. She gave me such good advice and helped me with some everyday tasks. Dad came and fixed me sweeper when I had clogged it even though he said that he wanted to fix the hurts, but couldn't. We have about 20 cards sitting on our buffet table with 3 bouquets of flowers and have had so many people call or visit. Just today I saw Bonnie Weberling at the store. Her hug and genuine concern for Matt and I was just a special reminder of God's love through His body. The truth is that I can see the difference in the ways that people who know the Lord respond to us and those who don't. It seems that the Holy Spirit reaches out to our hearts in a special way through His people. It's funny how you know in your head that people care about you, but then when something happens that makes you feel broken, there are so many to offer you a hand and say "You're not alone." The song that Vanessa sent us was so touching and special, it talks about Jesus holding our baby. The other day when Aunt Mary Kay prayed that Jesus would hold us and our baby close I had this beautiful picture of Jesus in a rocking chair with our baby. Then He traded with Grandma Sommers. It was a special thought.

You would think with all of these wonderful people and wonderful gestures, a wonderful husband and more wonderful God that I would feel more joyful. I guess I'm discovering that joy is not a feeling, it's a truth. The truth is in my heart I have joy for many things, but there is also still a deep sorrow that I cannot seem to just replace. I think like Amy said, "It will hurt until the day I die." I will always be a mom to this one too.